Friday, December 5, 2014

On the Fifth Day of Christmas

12 Days of Christmas - Day 5
500 words
Theme: How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Elements:
Brian Rogers as "The Grinch"
Roast Beast

A Ten and a Half foot pole
Five Gold Rings






Day 5

“Ladies and gentlemen,” bellows the owner of Joey’s Heart Stop Smorgasbord, “tonight we have a real treat for you! There is a brave soul who has come to challenge… THE ROAST BEAST!”
The crowd gathered around the inside of the cleared out dining area of the restaurant gasp. Their surprise turns into excited murmuring that increases in volume.
The owner speaks up over the crowd, “Allow me to introduce you to… Brian “The Grinch” Rogers!” He waves his hand to the side and the indicated gentlemen in a t-shirt that reads ‘I came. I saw. I conquered the buffet.’ Steps up next to him.
Brian waves to the crowd and says with a smile, “Please, Steve, just call me Grinch.”
Steve nods and claps his hands together forcefully. “Mr. Grinch here has volunteered to take on the Heart Stop Smorgasbord’s biggest food challenge ever!” They walk around the side to a set of tables that have been pushed together like a giant formal dining table. On top of the table are five giant serving plates over two foot wide each, set side by side along the length like the 5 gold rings of Christmas. Steve nods towards a waiter who opens up the kitchen doors and holds them open as a troupe of waiters come out with a giant pole. They march over like an army and set the monstrosity on top of the gold plates.
Steve walks the length as he says in an ominous tone. “I present to you, THE ROAST BEAST! A sandwich of colossal proportions! This eight inch thick sandwich is the biggest Philly Cheese Steak in the world! It’s so long, it requires a ten and a half foot pole to deliver it to the table!”
A lady in the front puts her hands up to her cheeks and screams out in dismay, “How many animals had to DIE for that… that… THING!”
Steve chuckles and turns towards Brian. “Grinch. No one has EVER managed to beat THE ROAST BEAST before… Good luck! We have paramedics standing by… you’re time starts… NOW!”
After eyeballing the entire length, Grinch gets right to work. In a matter of minutes he has several feet of the sandwich gobbled down. He attacks it with the ferocity of a soccer mom on black Friday. From his display, it is quite questionable if he’s ever heard of the terms ‘table manners’ or ‘moderation.’
His gluttony seems to know no bounds as people start feeling ill just from watching him rip the mounds of meat apart with his bare hands. Grinch’s stomach is distended to the point of absurdity as he licks off the last remnants.
Steve says shakily, “W-we have… a winner. Congrats… How do you feel?”
“I feel Goo-” With that utterance, Brian unleashed a tidal-wave of disgust over the entire crowd. Survivors later were quoted as being emotionally traumatized and seeing ‘all of the colors of the rainbow come in a tsunami.’




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