On the Seventh Day of Christmas

12 Days of Christmas - Day 7
 400 words
Theme: Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer

Elements:
Rudolph
Reindeer Games
Abominable Snowman
Seven Swans a Swimming

Day 7

“Laaaaadies aaaand Gentleman! I’d like to welcome you to the 2014 Reindeer games!”  Yells an elf from on top of a pile of presents with a megaphone in his hand. He motions to the right and adds, “I would now like to introduce the big man himself… RUUUUDDOOOLPH!”

Rudolph walks up next to him and bows to the gathered audience. “Hallo! Guten Tag!” He turns to the elf and gets a sour look on his face, “I thought we talked about this Remmy?”

“B-But… Mein Fuhrer! Roesetta Stone… it takes a while to get through… Ja?”

“Ja… it does… I have placed a lot of faith in you, Remmy. I will NOT accept failure… Understand?”

“Ja Mein Fuhrer…”

“Wunderbar!” Rudolph turns around in place to address the crowd. “Thank you for coming! Our first event of the day is the 100 meter free style swim!” He motions towards a large trough cut in the ice where the freezing water barely moves in the gentle artic breeze.

Dasher yells out from his starting position, a trail of yellow snow leading up to him from behind, “It’s too cold! We won’t make it!”

Rudolph grins widely. “Swim fasta then, it’ll keep you from freezing…”

Prancer yells from the next lane, “And where’s Blitzen?”

Rudolph sighs. “Oh, him. He shall not be participating in this event. I had a discussion with him earlier… Oh, Abe?” The abdominal snowman chucks a mangled carcass next to the side of the swimming path.

The other reindeer scream in terror, Dasher makes the yellow puddle under him larger, and both Comet and Cupid vomit at the sight.

“Danke Abe. Blitzen mistakenly thought HE was lead reindeer. We all know different now, Ja?”

Donner screams, “Rudolph! We’re sorry! Please don’t do this!”

Rudolph stamps his hoofs. “You should have thought of THAT before you and the FAT MAN ostracized me! Now get in the water! No flying or you’ll be shot!” They don’t move and Rudolph adds, “Abe, if they don’t move in 10 seconds, use the Luger.”

The deer hop in and quickly start swimming the length.

Rudolph comments. “Look! My own Seven swans a swimming! … I forgot to invite the artic sharks…” He runs over and kicks the remainder of Blitzen’s corpse into the water. Shortly after the water stats frothing with sharks chasing the swimmers in the bloody water. “Oh Dear, my poor swans…”